What makes a good marriage?

The relationship should change and grow. Communication must be effective and conflicts resolved in a caring manner.

It takes two people who are totally committed to each other as lifelong companions:

• They both want to be close
• They both want to be strong individuals as well as a strong couple
• They both take responsibility for making the marriage work
• They both tell the truth
• They both resolve conflicts with a win-win attitude

With kids, jobs, bills, school and everything else that puts demands parents’ time, how can a couple find time to work on their marriage, too?

A strong marriage makes all those other things easier. Try these tips to keep romance alive:

• start each morning with a big hug
• give twenty-second kisses at least once a day
• leave cards and notes where your spouse will find them
• telephone just to say, “I love you.”
• share the best and worst things that happened every day
• listen with your heart as well as with your ears

Those are great ideas that don’t take much time. As a matter of fact, we have a four-minute technique:

There are two critical times of the day for couple communication – they set the tone for the time that follows:

1. The first four minutes when waking in the morning.
2. The first four minutes when you are reunited at the end of the day.

Use these four minutes this way:

1. One minute to embrace, kiss and tell how much you mean to each other.
2. One minute each to share the plans or the happenings of the day.
3. Last minute to encourage and support each other in your individual efforts.

No controversial topics allowed during the four minutes – this is all positive.

For more information on relationships, call 553-3000 or toll-free (877) 553-3001 or email info@heartlandfamilyservice.org.